A Lady In Question
Redefining Gender Norms and Sexuality
Vicky is 50 years old from the Bahamas and upon first glance appears to be a distinguished full bodied and robust woman of maturity, with a bright smile and a twinkle in her eyes. Physically she has the classic appearance of a Caribbean woman of multicultural origins whose coffee is on the lighter side of the mocha scale. But beneath that pleasant smile and generous nature, is a spirit who has spent most of her life challenging conventional gender norms and birth sex.
Even to members of our LGBT communities, the plight and life of someone transgendered is something shrouded in mystery and treated as a subject associated with larger than life stage personas. But beneath it all are individuals challenged by others upon first glance, subject to ridicule and scorn in the most inhumane of ways, and whose choice of gender is often denied because of ignorance and a lack of understanding in what it is that drives such individuals to seek the physical and psychosocial changes they require, to exist.
This article seeks to educate and inform about the life of a transgendered role model who is willing to empower and provide peer support to others like her in our region, as well members of our greater LGBT communities.
Congratulations and thank you for granting us this interview. Can you tell us a little about yourself?
It is an honour and a privilege to do this interview. I thank you for letting me help bring some light to this hidden phenomenon called transgender. I am a 50 year old/young male to female pre op transsexual. I am married, have a family and live in the Bahamas. My wife and I have been together for 21 years. We have 2 children and a granddaughter.
You are a male-to-female (MTF) transsexual or transsexual woman, which means that you were born male and had sex / gender reassignment to become female. Tell us a little about this?
Let me help you with a term here gender reassignment refers to the surgery the entire process is called transition. There are 3 categories for transsexuals: pre op, non op, and post op. Op refers to the sex reassignment operation. I fall between pre op and non op. I lean more to non op as I am 50 and surgery risks are higher even though I have heard of 70 year old having SRS (sex reassignment surgery). Also because I am the primary caregiver to my Dad, my finances are at a point where I can’t afford the surgery at this time. However even though I do not gamble, if I won the lottery, I would take an in depth look at my concerns of the risks of surgery. And if I were 20 with the funds in hand well that would be another story
In your words, can you define the deference between Sex and Gender?
These are not my words but they are perfect “sex is between your legs and gender is between your ears”. Gender is everything between what is male and female. No male is completely male and no female is completely female.
There are different types of transgendered persons, for examples cross-dressers or transvestites (who wear the clothing of the other sex and not necessarily of same sex orientation) and drag queens and drag kings (respectively, biological males and females who present part-time as members of the other sex primarily to perform or entertain and many identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual).1
Explain this a little.
I have found some transsexuals do DRAG, but most do not as transsexualism is about everyday life. DRAG is an art form, and transsexualism is a medical condition. The term transgender has a 3 fold definition. 1) Its an umbrella term for all who cross the gender boundary. 2) It refers to people that will live as the opposite gender but do not seek hormones or SRS. 3) it’s used as a medical diagnostic term to refer to all gender crossing conditions other than transsexual.2 And I understand there is going to be a change in the DSM shortly.
Can you share what it was like for you when you became aware that you possessed a transgendered identity?
I was 5 years old at least that is as far back as I can remember. I learned very quickly that this was something I had to hide. I had to learn how to act like a boy it did not come natural to me. I was constantly picked on I guess it showed through. Even when I met my wife she thought I was gay.
Can you describe the most significant aspects when you began your sex / gender reassignment?
The first was learning that I was not alone the second that it was a medical condition called Gender Dysphoria. I was 32 or 33. My life changed forever that weekend.
There are many concerns and dangers that others seeking sex / gender reassignment need to know, can you identify the most important ones?
The greatest problem transgender face is their own ignorance, ignorance by society, by backward medical systems and even in the gay and lesbian community. But especially in the trans community, in that most trans have no clue what they are dealing with and take desperate measures. Hormones are dangerous and I highly advise that you study them before you take them, even if they are prescribed by a doctor. Actually one should do that with any medicine. Know what you are taking and the side effects. Some of the risks of hormones are instant death by blood clot or too much potassium, kidney liver damage, deep vein thrombosis, to name a few.
What advice would you give to others seeking sex / gender reassignment in our region?
Study and research and then do some more study and research. And just when you think you have figured it all out do some more study and research. Actually never stop studying and researching. Seek out therapists specializing in gender identity issues. Don’t just go to one but at least 2 after all they are only human as well. As I respond to this I am sending out inquires to find gender therapist that will give some of their time to the trans of the Caribbean. It might only be via messenger or phone but I will hope one day we can put together funding to bring them to the different countries every month or so.
Due to financial constraints, some persons seeking hormonal treatment opt for cheap or generic prescriptions, what are some of the dangers of such practises?
Generics are not the problem some are very good it’s the fakes that one has to worry about. There are many snake oils salesmen out there ready to take advantage of the desperate. There are a few online pharmacies’ out there that will sell hormones without prescription. Its how I started with my hormones. I am now under a Drs care and I use generic hormones 17 beta estradiol $12.00 per 100 tablets and I use 2 a day. But there is more to it than just hormones there are anti androgens as well. Study, study, study!! Can’t say it enough.
It was recently shared that most transgendered persons suppress their identity because of the prevalent violence (including murders) against persons of same sex orientation in Jamaica. You have also identified that transgendered persons are discriminated against more-so than gay men and women because of the physical appearance factor. What are some of the vulnerabilities transgendered persons are subject to living in the Caribbean?
You answered your own question here. Not all trans folk blend in, some stand out and they become targets of hate by people who don’t understand that this is a real medical condition. Trans folk face all that Gay and Lesbians face but worse as one can’t transition and be invisible. If you can imagine what a gay couple will face if they walk around holding hands and stuff you will understand what trans folk face every day of their lives. Then you have the dangers from with in. The fear the anguish and yes depression. 50% of us are dead by the age of 30 because of suicide and a self destructive life such as drug, alcohol and self abuse. I cut my wrist at 18, had a gun to my head more than once, and prayed for “deep water black out” many time. I used to fish for a living which included spear fishing and deep breath hold diving. I wanted to not exist so badly.
Speaking of vulnerability, are there any HIV risk factors that transgendered persons need to specifically address?
Yeah if we expose ourselves to HIV we can catch HIV it’s that simple. HIV makes no exceptions for trans folk.
Are there any support organisations, groups or resources that you can direct others to?
One of the most important sites is http://www.wpath.org/ . You can download the Harry Benjamin Standards Of Care for transsexuals and pass it on to the medical system and other trans folk in your country. It is also available in Spanish and Croatian. Other resources are: International Foundation for Gender Education http://www.ifge.org/; Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation http://glaad.org/. There are so many out there trans folk can do a search but don’t look up transsexual, search for Gender Dysphoria or Gender Identity Disorder.
We really thank you for conducting this interview, do you have any final comments you would like to share?
There are female to male transsexuals. Transsexualiam does not equal homosexuality. Transsexualism does not determine sexual orientation. Wow so much that needs to be said. To trans folks, know you are not alone you are not freaks or less than human. This is a medical condition you are born with. Learn, learn, learn what gender dysphoria is and talk about it to family and friends. Know that we don’t have to be sex workers, do what ever you have to do to get a good education, even if it means wearing the mask a bit longer. Check out these successful transsexual women.
1 Other categories of transgender people include androgynous, bigendered, and gender queer people. Exact definitions of these terms vary from person to person, but often include a sense of blending or alternating genders. Some people who use these terms to describe themselves see traditional concepts of gender as restrictive.
2 Harry Benjamin’s Standards of Care. “Between the publication of DSM-III and DSM-IV, the term "transgender" began to be used in various ways. Some employed it to refer to those with unusual gender identities in a value-free manner -- that is, without a connotation of psychopathology. Some people informally used the term to refer to any person with any type of gender identity issues. Transgender is not a formal diagnosis, but many professionals and members of the public found it easier to use informally than GIDNOS, which is a formal diagnosis.”